thoughts on a cold night

i'm spending a saturday night looking up love songs to make a new CD. i've been doing that a lot recently and i'm taking it as a good sign. Nat King Cole is now one of my favorite people. His songs are just so cute. He has one song "Darling Je Vous Aime Beacoup" which is written in franglais and it describes our relationship perfectly.

Sometimes i feel like i shouldn't be writting about how happy i am. I feel like journals are more of a place for rants. but you know i feel stupid for hidding how great i feel. it's really nothing to be ashamed of. so some people are having a tough time these days. i understand that and i'm always here to listen. i was told twice this week that i was a good listner and i feel really proud of that.

i'm so happy that we have an extra day this weekend. I found that weekends are just flying by. did anyone notice it's almost mid-October? where the fuck did time go? why is it so cold out already? i haven't even had time to wear my new shoes!

I've been going to the gym pretty regularly and i've been watching what i eat to no evail. I hate when i work hard and see no results. so today i said fuck it and ate a pie of pie with ice cream.

When you are daydreaming after dark should you say nightdreaming? or is a nightdreaming like sleeping?

shit i haven't fed my fish today (or yesterday). i haven't been home in two days. that's what i get living like a vagabon (my dads words). I feel like i live out of my backpack. i'm not complaining. i love staying at Brian's house. I feel more at home and more loved there than at my own house. That family is the best! I want them to adopt me.

I've been having the best sex of my life recently and i was always a firm believer of you-dont-need-love-to-have-great-sex but i think i've been converted. Being happy and in love makes such a difference. This boy has changed me. i actually believe i would be lost without him (if i was reading somebody else's i'd make a face and roll my eyes so i give you guys permission to do the same).

I remember describing to Durga last year what my perfect man would be like. It was a long list and Brian fits it to a tee.

i have lots more to babble on about but i'm getting tired and cold and my bed lokks real warm and comfy